Heheh...something to tickle your bones

Lee Family to Take Over National Football Team

Rumours about the Lee family taking over the Singapore Football team were confirmed yesterday when leading members of the family showed up for a practice session with the National team -- sporting new hairdos inspired by World Cup 2002."Singapore is facing a shortage of talent and we lack credible leadership with vision and the ability to score goals," said Mr. Noah Hope, Chairman of the FAS. PM BG Lee showed off his new Ronaldo-inspired haircut, and proceeded to mesmerise the National team players with his heading skills.

"Obviously we have a very fine head here," said Masuk Dua, the team's new goalkeeper as he failed to stop one of his thundering headers off a corner. "All that Cambridge and Harvard education must have helped hone his skills in reading the ball and judging its trajectory." Grassroots leaders who were carrying and juggling spare balls on the sidelines oohed and aahed as the PM proceeded to complete a hat-trick during the practice session. PM Lee's younger brother, Lee Hsien Yang wowed the younger fans with a Ronaldinho inspired flowing dreadlock hairdo. He proceeded to dazzle everybody with his prowess in midfield, directing the play using miniature Singtel handphones that every player was required to use.

"It is obvious that they are qualified to play for Singapore based on merit alone," gushed Mr.Hope. "They have incredible ball control and the uncanny ability to avoid being tackled," he added as the two brothers brought the ball out from defence and scored a goal with three touches of the ball in an impressive show of dribbling skills. "Our players tried to get past their security guards but they were just too good." Meanwhile, Mdm Ho Ching, arrived with a dyed-blonde look. The Chairman of Temasek and defensive midfielder told the press that although she admired the Brazilian team's skills, she was not impressed with their hairstyles. "The Japanese players showed more style in their hair colour and there is something about them we can emulate, even if it's not their economic progress."

She also added that being blonde had its advantages as she can also change to a more spiky David Beckham look if that proved to be more popular with the fans. PM Lee Hsien Yang quipped, "Maybe you should have my dreadlocks. Then people can call you Ronaldin-Ho." "Our policy of hiring players from Nigeria and Croatia has been a dismal failure as those countries showed a lack of aptitude by not even qualifying for the Round of 16," explained Mr. Hope. "Our political leaders have decided that taking over the National team was for the greater good." In a related development, the AG Chambers has announced that it will look into the possibility of litigation against opponents who resort to yellow-card tactics in an effort to ensure that the National football team enjoys a level playing field overseas. Furthermore, teams that manage to beat Singapore may have to face a legal challenge on grounds of potential defamation.